Heart Eyes Co Blogs

For the last few days I’ve had a topic weighing heavy on my heart. Heavier than usual at least. I wanna talk about self esteem and how we let our thoughts about our bodies sometimes dictate what kind of life we can live. I remember in grade school I was always really self conscious, but then in high school all the insecurities I had exploded and multiplied. I cared so much about what these people who really I would only know for 4 years thought about me. I cared so much about what they thought about my appearance. I wouldn’t participate in any type of extracurricular activities and I didn’t go out of my way to seek new friendships. I wasn’t trying to be rude or anything I was just shy and too worried about what people thought of me to go outside my bubble. I let my own insecurities stop me from participating in things I may have loved, I always said well someday I can do that, wear that, eat that, go there, hangout with them etc. if…..I lost weight. If I didn’t look this way. If I was thinner. Even now I describe my high school experience as going in, doing the bare minimum, keeping my head down and getting the hell out of there! I hated it, and I wonder if I cared less about my body image if I would have enjoyed it more. Anyway, flash forward to now. 26 year old Gina married, mama, and much more comfortable as the plus sized woman I am yet I sometimes face the same feelings I did as an awkward teen. I have always battled with body image issues, in fact I cannot tell you a time in my life my weight wasn’t something I thought about. After pregnancy like many women I was struggling with my body in a few different ways but weight being the main thing. I went through several stages of panic about my body after giving birth. I felt genuinely ashamed of how I looked, and my weight then on top of feeling bad about myself I felt bad about feeling bad! I did a diet for a week and then would give up, I tried exercising and just felt discouraged. I tried not dieting and just pretending to be okay with it but really I was not okay with it. I found myself swirling in the same fears, and insecurities I did in high school. Not to mention the unhealthy habits like over thinking and over criticizing. The same negative emotions that pulled me away from people I cared about, and kept me from living life like I deserved too. Now 10 months PP I am finally able to see things with clarity. I see what my distructive cycle was and that it can still creep up on me at times. I’m able to take a step back and realize I was feeding my shame by bullying myself. I’ve been able to see myself for who I am as a human being instead of my size. My hope in writing this is not for people to feel bad for me it’s so that someone who has been through something similar can see they aren’t alone in those thoughts. Self love is a journey and it takes time to break bad habits of self destructive talk and behavior. Giving yourself permission to love yourself as you are is key to moving forward though. Even if one person who has been through something similar sees this and makes a tiny change for themselves it was time well spent. Life is fragile and beautiful and we only have so much time to enjoy it so why not be your most authentic self, radiating love, and doing what you love today and everyday. I know I’m not waiting around for “someday” anymore. I also know its easier said than done but maybe this will touch you, and you’ll feel inspired. I was inspired by a few other women online and that tiny spark of inspiration really launched me into a good place of heeling. Sending lots of love -Gina

Saturday I attended a vision board party for the first time. I figured I’d go in and make an aesthetically pleasing collage of a couple ideas I had for 2020. Boy was I wrong! It was much more than that. First everyone started by picking a word they want to carry throughout the new year, mine is “create”. Then we moved on to the fun part picking out our materials. There were dozens of folders with magazine clippings in every category you could imagine, it was so fun looking through everything and piecing together my board. We all gathered in the most beautiful garden it was so relaxing and refreshing. I sat alone and did a lot of reflecting on the past year and my hopes for the new one. I already had an idea of where I was going with my vision board. I mostly wanted to make mine fun, and full of things that make me happy when I see them. Lots of champagne, friendship, date nights, art, and my shop. Last year flew by and it was really hard for me to get through the fog of PPD and PPA so I didn’t do much other than get by. As hard as the last year was it was still full of amazing moments and experiences. It sort of feels like I blinked and 2019 was over, and I know people always say time flies when you have kids and they grow up so quickly. But really…I blinked and the year was done. This year I’m creating more time for things and people I love, more art, experiences, friendships, community. All of it! 2020 is going to be truly beautiful. Squeezing in some time to create this vision board and do some reflecting was such a beautiful start to making my needs a priority. Even if it’s just one teeny thing a day, it’s so worth it.

I’d really love to hear how you guys make your passions a priority, and if you’ve ever made a vision board. What would your word for 2020 be?

Hope this gives you a little bit of inspiration!

How do you guys feel about new years resolutions?

Personally I’ve never been a huge fan, I feel like it’s a-lot. Lots of pressure on ourselves when really we already have a-lot going on, why do we need to set unrealistic expectations for ourselves? I’ve seen this online a ton today (I’m writing this 1/1/2020) and It’s really resonated with me. “New year same me!”. I actually really love this. New year? yes. Fresh start? yes! Still me – the hardworking, badass, strong, intelligent woman I’ve always been. Yes, I change and grow as I think everyone should but just because It’s a new year doesn’t mean you should throw everything out the window that already makes you great and chase something else. Instead build off of that. In light of the new year I’ve put together a list of intentions and goals I’m setting for myself, and maybe you’ll feel inspired to try something new too. This last year for me was about pushing through a lot of crap and trying to come out on the other end, and I’m hoping 2020 will be a little more about living presently and being creative. Here’s my list:

-Create more: For me this means a lot of things. For starters creating a space for myself in this crazy life of being a new mom. Creating time for myself and the things that I don’t necessarily need to do but want to do and that will ultimately make me happier. So for me that’s creating art, writing, and spending more time creating things for the business I’m growing.

–Less TV more books: This one I’ve been working at for awhile. Reading is so relaxing and I have such a long list of books I’m dying to get into so this year I’m hoping to start checking a few off that list.

-Build meaningful connections: I have really connected with a few amazing people this year who have been in my life for a long time but it wasn’t until now that we really truly got to know each-other, and it’s so amazing. So continuing that as well as building some local connections with artists, and small business owners in hopes of doing some local in person markets this year with my small shop Heart Eyes Clothing Co. (find us on instagram @hearteyesclothingco). It seems so scary going out and connecting with people and being vulnerable enough to share something I made, but I know if I let it stop me I’ll miss out on so much.

-Move yo body: For me this isn’t about hitting the gym 7 days a week and changing my body or weight. It’s about literally just moving a little bit each day, getting some fresh air and being more present. It’s about appreciating the body I have and all it’s strengths.

-Forget what people think: Okay this one is easier said than done, and I know we all get that voice of self doubt in our heads, wondering what other people think about us but its time to leave that behind. I’ve let what other people think about me, my body, mind, business hold me back so much for so long, and It’s really time to focus on what I think about those things instead.

What are your intentions, goals or wishes for this new year? I’d love to hear! You can also follow along with me on instagram @Gina_fullam

Hope you all have an amazing first week of the new year!

-Gina

I wanted to toss together a simple holiday gift guide for my fellow last minute shoppers. I’ll be adding a few new items each day for the next week, so stay tuned for more. I’ll also try my best to include items that are on sale or just some websites I like that are running good deals!